Thursday, March 14, 2013
It occurred to me that the only things I have been blogging about are horrific (to me anyway), and so I thought I would try something different. I am a procrastinator. I procrastinate about procrastinating. The longer I can put something off the better. And it doesn't matter what it is or how great it would be for me. I am, at this moment in time, putting off any kind of physical exercise and quitting smoking. I know that both would be beneficial to my health, as well as to each other. If I quit smoking I would be able to exercise easier, and if I exercised it would make not smoking easier. Yes. All that makes sense. It sounds good. Hell, it looks good on paper. SO, I don't do either one and make up a myriad of excuses as to why. I can come up with some doozies too, let me tell ya! The last time I tried to quit smoking someone in my family died. That was my excuse for a whole year. - I can't quit smoking! You wouldn't want anybody to die again, would you? HA! Utter bullshit. The truth of the matter is I am scared. Change (of any kind) totally fucks me up. I guess its some sort of disorder - you pick I don't care - but I like to have things a certain way and I like them to stay like that. Today, for instance, I upgraded from IPOD to IPHONE. Not that big of a change, but goddamn, it caused me to be a horrific bitch. I had my Ipod set up just the way I wanted. All the notifications and ringtones and apps and bullshit were just where I wanted them to be. I thought I could just come home, hook the ol' Iphone up to my trusty laptop and it would do the work for me. Yeah, that did NOT happen. As soon as I hooked the phone up, my computer wouldn't sync it. Instead, it wanted to install an updated version of the IOS. Now, keep in mind, the damn phone had been activated and already had *some* of my stuff on it. What happened next, literally, caused me to take a pill. THE WHOLE DAMN THING WAS ERASED. I mean it was absofuckinglutley blank. Didn't even have my Apple ID in it any more. SO, I waited 20 minutes for the update to download and install. I assumed that my laptop, in its infinite wisdom would know to PUT MY SHIT BACK. My laptop must not have realized how much I was depending on it for my sanity, because it didn't do dick! *I* had to start from scratch with the whole welcome to Apple or whatever the hell the very first ever screen is on an Iphone. And I signed in again. Well, I am not a savant, but I am not computer illiterate either and I decided to tell my laptop to just sync with the damn phone. I am good at giving orders. Apparently, I don't speak iCloud. (Are you fucking kidding me? I literally have a cloud over my head all the time like in the cartoons?!?!) It took me 2 HOURS just to get my music and apps on this damn phone. TWO WHOLE GOD DAMN HOURS!!! What. The. Fuck. At that point, I decided to listen to the book I started a few days ago on my audible app. Guess what. The sonofabitch wanted me to sign in to Audible. You guys. If I can sign in and hit a button that says remember me, then that is one less thing I have to keep track of. I didn't know the password. That was not my job. That was my Ipod's job. My Ipod still knows the password. My Ipod still has my place saved in the book I was listening to. This Iphone has got a lot of 'splaining to do. Now, if I can just remember the eye color of my pre school teachers cat so I can answer my secret question, I will be in good shape!!