Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Rizzo's Ramblings...I'm baaack (I think)
I am sick. I have been sick for days. A horrible, terrible, gross sick that I am not going to go into details about. Blergh. I have also been cruising Facebook, because what else are you supposed to do when you have seen everything on Netflix? Some rather startling news was brought to my attention (per usual, Facebook is where I get ALL my news, even about myself). There was this big huge rape case. One I had not even heard about because I don't watch the "real" news - it is too depressing. I am sure by now most all of you have heard about it. If not, you can read about it here, and here, and here. Those are not nearly all of the links, and you can Google it to find out all your heart desires. There was a huge uproar over the way some of the news agencies treated the judges decision. You see, a lot of people wanted to feel sorry for the two rapists because "their lives were ruined forever." After that, there were many bloggers who offered their opinions on the case, and on the way society was treating the rapists and the victim. There were blogs about what we should be teaching our children about rape. I applaud everyone who stands up for the victim. I applaud everyone who wants to teach their children better. It is not that I do not disagree. I just wonder how much good this all will do. Before you take my head off, please hear me out. Those of us who agree with the whole teach your children to stand up for someone who cannot stand up for themselves or the whole do not abuse the power you hold over someone thing are probably already teaching our children that. We are probably already teaching our children about honesty, integrity, loyalty, compassion, and love for all mankind. WE are probably not the problem here. It is the parents who teach their children that it is about what you have or who you know or where you attend school or how good you are at sports or how popular you are or how badly you can make someone feel in order to make yourself feel better - those parents are the problem. And they aren't reading these blogs. They agree with the people who feel sorry for these star athletes, whose lives have been ruined forever because some loose girl got drunk and couldn't keep her legs shut. They don't give a damn about honesty, integrity, loyalty, compassion, or love for all mankind. We ALL know these people. We ALL know their children. We ALL can probably tick them off one by one going down a list. I propose a different solution. I propose that we begin to teach other parents. I propose that WE, as parents, stand up to these other parents without fear. WE have to lead by example. We have to show our children that it is OK to go against the grain. To be kind to those who have no one else. To stand by and stand up for the one who gets picked on everyday. To take a stand against violence or bullying of any kind. We have to be there for our children and tell them how great they are making this world. We have to quit allowing them to be depressed, quit allowing them to "try to fit in", quit allowing them to harm themselves because they feel like they are worthless. WHY is depression and self harm becoming an epidemic in today's teenage society? I am no expert, but I believe that it is because our children are under so much pressure trying to fit in and be something they are not, that this is the only way they can relieve that pressure. What better way than to punish themselves? To not allow themselves to be happy, or to hurt themselves. WE AS PARENTS can alleviate that pressure by not trying to fit in ourselves. How many times have you or someone you know been nervous to go to a school function or a ballgame because you didn't have the right clothes, or the right car, or the right connections? How many times have you not stood up for your own child because you just didn't want to make waves. How many times have you molded your personality or figures of speech so that you wouldn't be looked down upon? So that you would have a buddy or two to sit with at the school functions or the ballgames. So that people in your town wouldn't label you or treat you differently. Some of you will say that you are doing this for your children. That if you fit in, your child will have a better chance. I call bullshit. That is selfish and self serving, and you are not doing your child any favors. You are teaching them by example. You are showing them that kow towing to the people with power will help them in some way. I say we teach other parents, and in turn we teach our children by example. I say we, as parents, can stand up for ourselves and our children all at the same time. It might not turn things around in one day, and it might be the hardest thing you have ever done; but wouldn't it be worth it to have a future society who valued people on their integrity, loyalty compassion, and love for all mankind?