Adam at Fodder 4 Fathers has been going through lil bit of hell after posting a blog early this morning. Well, an "Open Letter to First-time Mothers" as he calls it. Read his post here.
I feel sorry for him.
I agree with him though!
Very few women don't bitch and gripe when they are pregnant. However, I was one of them! I looooooved being preggo! My friends joked the shit out of me for it. It is a beautiful gift and men do not get to experience it. Although your significant other may be an asshole, there are guys out there who are wonderful too! They envy the closeness we get to share with our babies while they are in utero. I wasn't a fan of having to spend money on clothing that I wouldn't be able to wear for very long, personally. I did enjoy registering for all of the cute baby stuff and I have to admit with both of my boys, I brought my girlfriends to shop and create my baby registries, not my husband. Also, my baby showers were both female-only. The men really do get the shit end of the stick here!
Admit it, we do not treat the father as an equal in parenting! We DO think we can do everything better. We DO think that we are more tired. We DO pull the "I pushed the baby out of my vagina/they ripped that baby out of my stomach" card. We pull every card we can to make it seem like the fathers do nothing for the children when we need them to do something else for us! I'm sure that makes them feel awful. If you are still in a relationship with the father of the baby, stop jerking the baby away from the dad and saying "Give her to me, I know how to make her stop crying."
That's insulting. That's messed up.
No. Let the father do it. Let him feel a sense of accomplishment. The same feeling when we picked out all of the baby furniture and clothing. The feeling of accomplishment when that last push released the baby from our body. The same feeling that we had when we saw our baby for the first time and realized that we took such great care of our bodies for 10 months and look how good we did!!! What a beautiful healthy baby! All that hard work paid off.
Ladies, there are good men out there. These men are frustrated at the moms that aren't giving them any credit or even the opportunity to be a father to their children. They are tired of the attitude and not having any say over the care of their child. It's not just "your" child, remember. Enough is enough! There are good daddies out there, even if you didn't choose such a great one to procreate with. THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE, BY THE WAY!! It's important for your child to have an equal relationship with both parents. Unless he has been deemed a danger to the child, you must learn how to let go and give the father a chance to do his part.
Every situation is different. Maybe you have a baby daddy that is NOT truly capable of caring for a child for whatever real, honest reason. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this isn't the person Adam is talking about in the blog.
My wish is for people to read something (like this open letter) from an author and realize its feelings, perspective, and definitely not personal insults TO YOU !!!!! I always soak these things in and LEARN something from them!!! It will make you more compassionate, human, and you get to know the inner workings of people this way. Just think about it, that's all I ask.
Love,
Frenchy
:)
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